The Christmas Things Sport Parents Don't Talk About

This Christmas, I went to my village carol service for the first time in 15 years.

Not because I don’t enjoy carols

Not because I didn’t want to be there.

Simply because, for the last decade and a half, it always clashed with my daughter’s Christmas show.

If you’re a sport parent, you’ll already understand what that really means.

Her Christmas show wasn’t just one evening in December. It took over our lives for weeks. Extra rehearsals layered on top of normal training, costumes to buy, schedules to juggle, and five performances squeezed into one weekend. When she was little, there was also the added pressure - and expense - of making sure someone was there to watch every performance.

All of this sat alongside the already huge Christmas to-do list that so often falls on mothers.

And yet, I never once questioned it.

I never thought, maybe this year we won’t go.

I never wondered if she should take a break.

We just… did it.

The carol service simply wasn’t part of December.

In the same way that when competition dates changed, family holidays were rearranged. Or cancelled altogether. In the same way that if the six-week lead-up to a competition fell during the school holidays, the holiday quietly disappeared.

We did all of this without question - because it was her passion. Her dream. Her ambition.

I want to be clear: this isn’t a complaint.

Now that it’s over, I don’t regret a single moment.

Not one early morning, not one missed event. But standing there this year, singing carols with my neighbours and sharing mulled wine, it struck me how much sport parents quietly give up - year after year - without anyone really noticing.

So this is a small moment of recognition.

A thank you to sport parents.

To the parents who miss community events, traditions, and festive moments because the sport calendar doesn’t pause for Christmas. To the parents who absorb the tears of younger siblings who don’t yet understand why holidays are cut short or why training always comes first.

To the parents who feel the tension - and sometimes the judgement - when family occasions are interrupted for training sessions.

And to the parents who show up anyway.

Every time.

It’s also a reminder to coaches.

When parents ask questions.

When they query decisions.

When they want to understand selection or scheduling…

Please remember the year-round sacrifice happening inside sport households. Most parents aren’t trying to undermine coaches. They’re trying to support a child they love deeply, often while feeling unsure, helpless, or afraid of getting it wrong.

And to the sport parents reading this in the run-up to Christmas - juggling logistics, emotions, expectations, and exhaustion - please pause for a moment.

Give yourself a pat on the back.

I see you.I hear your struggle.

I know the self-doubt.

I know the moments when you don’t know what to say, when you want to help but feel uncertain how.

You’re raising a little powerhouse of passion, and that is no small task.

I don’t have all the answers. But I have spent many years listening — to parents, to children, and to research — trying to better understand this role.

One thing is clear: sport parents deserve guidance, encouragement, and support, not criticism or exclusion.

So perhaps this is a gentle New Year’s resolution.

Support parents.

Educate them.

Give them a blueprint for the journey they’re on.

Because when parents feel informed, valued, and supported, it makes everyone’s life easier - children, parents, and coaches alike.

And this Christmas, that recognition feels long overdue.

Coaches! Book your Club's Sport Parent Support

Workshop here

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